Love you, hate you, miss you

I am turning 40 this year.  I am surprised by this.  I do not feel like I thought 40 would feel back when I thought 40 was old.  While I can’t say that I am issue-y about this, I am surprised by the fact that I am almost 40.

I bring this up because if there is one thing about being old, well older, and reading YA is that sometimes the hindsight I read with makes the issues that protagonists have seem like less of a deal to me, than to them.  For sure I felt this way about Hannah Baker.  I have this sort of adult voice in my head that says you will get over this, sure it’ll be with you but you’ll live and someday it won’t even be so awful.  And sometimes I have a hard time with all the ANGST.

So in terms of this book – yes Amy it sucks to see your best friend die after you set her up for a heartbreaking moment.  The kind of moment she would have gotten over.  And someday you’ll be ok.  And some day you won’t spend your every waking moment thinking you are a murderer.  (There are some similarities between this and Cracked Up to Be, well a lot.)  And I know this is about getting there, to that day.  And I am worried and concerned for you.  However as a reader I could not leave this  perspective behind, that really all this melodrama is just a bit too, too much for me.

But don’t get me wrong.  This is MY response to a book that is well written.  Elizabeth Scott is a bit all over the map.  I mean there is this, this, this, and this.  AND then there is this.  But I really like her.  I will continue to read her books in hardback because of that – which is a great compliment.  I like the serious romance, and I respect Living Dead Girl (made me ill reading this book, but in a good emotional response way, I think)

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